Introduction to a Future Chemical Engineer
Typical industrial fractionating columns, Wiki-commons Hi, I'm Brad Schoen and I am a chemical engineering major. The coolest thing about chemical engineering is the how connected it is to everyday life. Many of the things I have learned in class can be applied to explain the world around us and why things interact in a certain ways. The best class I took last year was momentum, heat, and mass transfer. The professor was great and the material was very pertinent to the world around us. It was also a very satisfying class to take because it wrapped up all the things I had previously learned: chemistry, physics, and math into one interconnected topic. It was eye opening to see all the blocks fit into place and see how important math really is for modeling systems. I am currently in the process of reading Dune , by Frank Herbert, but my favorite book/series to date is Dan Brown's Angel's and Demons . I plan to read the next installment of that series, Infe
Hi Brad!
ReplyDeleteOh, wow, exploring swayamvaras sounds like such a great idea! I do not know about the free anthology versions, but in Narayan's Ramayana and kind of in the Mahabharata there is not much in the way of description of the swayamvaras, though I think in the original texts they spanned for many verses. I like your mention of flowers and spices. Where one might think of them as minute and unimportant details, they can have such a huge symbolic meaning, and I hope you chose to expand on that in your stories. You have a really great opportunity here to paint vivid pictures in your writing, which is super exciting! The only thing I can think to comment on is that there are a couple of places where you need some commas. Otherwise, you have a great introduction, and I look forward to seeing how you develop your storybook!
Brad,
ReplyDeleteThis topic seems like a lot of fun to write about. I have not read a lot about the swayamvaras as both stories have not talked a lot about them but thats why I think you have picked such a great topic. I will really enjoy getting to read about your research of the swayamvaras. I would also tell you to make sure you are picking a topic that you are personally invested in as I have always felt like it is easier to write and read about topics that you have a want to learn more about them. I think this will be a great storybook and really enjoyed your style of writing. I think it is creative and fun to read. I hope to read more of your stories as the semester goes along and hope that you can read a couple of mine and provide your own comments on my writing. Have a great semester!
Hi Brad,
ReplyDeleteYou picked a great topic to write about! Not many people know what Swayamvara is, but you explain it pretty well in your introduction. I liked how you added in other outside details that many of us not know of. I just saw few grammar mistakes and spelling mistakes, but if you read over it again you will be able to see it! (Most of the food and flowers can be purchased form within the kingdom) it is suppose to be "from within the kingdom." Those are easily fixable as it's nothing too major, but otherwise it looks great. I like the picture you used for your intro! I hope to see what kinds of story you will come up with! Especially with food, as I love Indian food. Also, I think it will be fun to write about what roles flowers and food play in Swayamvara.
Hey Brad!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, you did an amazing job explaining all about Swayamvara and keeping the cultural vibe alive as I didn't see expansion on Swayamvara in either reading thus far. I had no idea what it was reading your title or as I began reading. You grabbed my attention since it wasn't something I wasn't familiar with, and I'm interested to see what direction you take with this storybook. You nailed the first paragraph as your detail to each new introduction is great! The rest of the introduction is vague enough to keep the reader wondering, but giving enough information to describe what you're wanting to primarily make this storybook about. I'm definitely curious to learn background on the decorations and food obtained for Swayamvara, and I'm excited to see what your choices are. Also, the layout of your introduction page is great, your picture choices are perfect and fit right with the context. I can't wait to read the rest of your stories for the semester, great job!
Brad, I don't actually know or haven't exactly heard much about Swayamvara. This is a really interesting topic that you've chosen to write about so I am really curious to see how you incorporate this in your stories. I wonder about the emphasis on the flowers and food. It almost reminds of some type of offering, in ways that are involved with religion. I also wonder how the Swayamvara are filled with drama, but I do like the idea of the flowers, because of the importance that some flowers and food have on cultures. Incorporating kings and finding husbands for their daughters, is also an intriguing part of what is to come. I can only imagine, like I've said before about offerings, maybe they will find the best suitors for their daughters by what they can offer? Can't wait to see what it all truly means, good luck with your stories!
ReplyDeleteBrad,
ReplyDeleteSince this is a topic I am not too familiar with, I am especially excited to keep up with your project. This is obviously something you have found interesting throughout the semester, since you are focusing your project on it. I would give a longer introduction on your homepage with a little more of a hook. You want your reader to want to dive into your project and check out everything you can give them. A more creative and fun introduction can help you achieve this.
In terms of your actual introduction, I thought this was very well done. I enjoy the image that you chose to introduce the reader to your project. It gives a look into the character you are focusing on, as well as give a teaser to the story you may be telling in the future. However, in your introduction you discuss flowers, which makes me want to see images of flowers on this page! I think that would tie it all together very nicely.
Good job on the beginning of your project! I look forward to seeing it grow!
Hey Brad! I love that you chose the topic of swayamvaras! I like that you delve deeper into HOW the food, spices, flowers, etc. are obtained for the swayamvara, because not a lot of people would think to question it or pay much attention to those details. It's an important topic so I am super excited to see how your project turns out and what kinds of stories you will develop with this theme. I enjoyed your introduction and the details that you described the swayamvaras with as well. I agree with Kayleigh in that adding flowers to the page would tie in to your introduction! Maybe even some spices on the side or something. I like the picture you have right now though, but maybe adding some color as well would make the page pop a lil bit more! It looks great so far, good luck with the rest of it :)
ReplyDeleteHey, Brad! I think it's super cool that you chose the topic of a Swayamvara - it's super unique, and there are so many avenues you can take with it. I also love that the focus of your story is food, which is honestly the love of my life. Specifically, the fact that you pay attention to the role of the food and the work that goes into retrieving it is very interesting. I also loved your story on the Garlic Giant - I thought it was well crafted and quite humorous. The way you incorporated garlic into the entire ordeal was very clever, and it really complemented the details you had in your introduction about the role of garlic in the actual ritual. Aesthetically, your page is really pleasing, too. Like some of the others have commented, since flowers are also a focus of your project, you could incorporate pictures of flowers to emphasize it. Overall, I really like the work that you have put into it so far, and look forward to reading more of it in the future!
ReplyDeleteHi Brad!
ReplyDeleteI think that your idea of essentially exploring the culture of the epics through the flowers and spices of a swayamvara is wonderfully creative! I never would have thought to go in that direction, but once I started reading your introduction, I realized how much sense it makes. Food, and therefore spices, are always a vital component of a place and its history, and the they do seem to take their flowers seriously! I liked your story about the Garlic Giant. It made the acquisition of food a dangerous adventure, and therefore more important. There was one thing that I noticed in the story: in a couple of places you switched back and forth between present tense and past tense, so maybe just a quick edit to make sure that the tenses are all in agreement throughout. Your page itself was lovely, and I really liked your pictures. A couple of people recommended that you add some flower pictures, but I think those can be reserved to illustrate the stories that actually focus on the flowers. Really good job, I look forward to reading more!
Hey Brad!!
ReplyDeleteI really liked the idea you came up with for your project! I mean who doesn’t like reading about food! We may not be able to actually smell the things you are describing, but your descriptions are the next best thing. I was really able to feel a lot of culture in your writing and I really enjoyed it. As for the set up for the site, I thought it looked really great. Personally, I might have put some more vibrant colors but that could just be my own preference. I just think it could “spice” things up a bit (pun intended). I agree with a lot of others that adding some flowers could really enhance your website! With the topic you chose, you have some really great opportunities for graphics. Maybe you cold just throw some on the home page because I think it would fit really nicely! But great job, I cant wait to see what else you come up with!
I like the idea of making an epic tale out of something as simple or unassuming as collecting spices. I'm hoping you continue the trend of going on great quests to acquire these items! I would love to see more detail in the battle scenes, as they could be an integral part to your stories. Also, maybe an editing challenge could be adding more dialogue! The story is fine by itself, but I think it could be fun. You could also design some really interesting monsters based on each of your spices/elements, so I think it would be fun to brainstorm some really creative ones! They could be anthropomorphic versions of the spices, or simply some sort of visual pun.
ReplyDeleteI will say that you make a few grammatical mistakes throughout your story, such as changing tense (past/present) and omitting words, but that can be fixed through a revision process.
Hey Brad! Honestly, I was so impressed with your storybook! The layout is clean and colorful. I wish you had given the definition of a Swayamvara on the home page though. I was confused about what you were referring to until I was partway through your introduction and you explained it. I also wished the garlic picture had been a drawing. All of your other pictures seemed to be drawings/paintings, but this one was a photograph and it felt out of place. I’m sorry if that sounds nitpicky! In the first sentence of the paragraph talking about Karna being woken up by the giant, you said the word “suddenly” twice. I think that both your introduction and first story are written very well. For me, fight scenes are difficult to write, but yours read like a real scene from a movie. I’m not really familiar with any of the stories, characters, or culture for your readings for this class, but I did not feel that I was missing any pieces of the story. You explained each aspect well. There were a few grammar mistakes/typos, but nothing that another read through out loud can't fix. Nicely done!
ReplyDeleteHey Brad,
ReplyDeleteStudent from Professor Gibbs' Myth and Folklores class here, and I think you did an awesome job. I really liked how you took the basic principle of the story, but added a special, odd twist that makes sense. Sort of like when parodies points out things that are possible, but not plausible. The fact that you made the Swayamvara dependent on the fact that garlic was a necessity was hilarious.
My suggestion for you is to consider expanding on your story. You did a great job with exposition, since I felt that your introduction and explanations were clear and concise, but I feel that the ending could have been stronger. Nothing was wrong with your actual ending; I just feel that you can just expand on it and see what the ramifications were with the slaying(?) of the giant were. Another aspect you can add to your story is that of dialogue. I feel dialogue adds a layer of depth that will always flush out the characters' personalities. Maybe you can try these out, but remember, your story is great as is! Good job!
Brad,
ReplyDeleteI am commenting again on your project and seeing how you have continued to develop your project to a full completed assignment. I got to read your story Garlic Giant and really liked how you changed up the idea behind the original to add your own twist to the story. I thought it was interesting how you used garlic as your main point. I didn't know that Draupadi was so infatuated with garlic but getting to read this story it makes a lot of sense. I didn't think anyone could be so hung go on making sure they had their garlic at a party but I guess Draupadi did. I was glad I got to come back and read a little bit more of your project. You have a great story here and hope to come back one more time to read the last couple of stories to finish it off. Keep up the great work and have a good finish to the semester.